Episode #14851 - Hot Off The Presses: I Got A Feelin'

SEPTEMBER 13--Some Florida churchgoers may now think twice about shaking their neighbor’s hand following the arrest of a teenager who was allegedly caught masturbating during a pair of recent Sunday services.  

According to cops, four witnesses spotted the 14-year-old suspect pleasuring himself inside the sanctuary of the First United Methodist Church in Niceville. One member of the congregation told police that she observed the teen “with his penis outside of his pants and stroking it," a Niceville Police Department report states. When questioned by police, the boy copped to exposing himself inside the church on August 28.

He explained that he was "playing with it" for about 10 minutes because, “I was bored.” He also admitted masturbating during a service the previous Sunday. The teenager--whose name cops redacted from the report--was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure and lewd and lascivious behavior.

It is unknown whether the alleged perpetrator has been allowed back into the sanctuary. Though, according to the church’s web site, visitors should “feel as welcome as possible. That's why we make it a priority to have a ‘come as you are’ atmosphere on our campus to make you feel at home the minute you arrive.”
 

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